Why do we, upon having a baby, promptly declare to the world our baby's vital stats including birth weight? To any friends or family without children those numbers mean nothing, but what do they really mean?
I was just reading on a friends blog about how her son was born in the 90th percentile and how her midwife told her this was a good thing. Jude was born in the 3rd percentile and neither my obstetrician nor the paediatrician were concerned in any respect, and yet it seemed to send the stupid nurses into a state of anguish which ended with disastrous effect on my psyche, left me no time for sleep, gave me mastitis and destroyed Jude's chance at breastfeeding. If only I had the courage to listen to the actual doctors, the ones with the medical degrees and many many years of experience, but it's impossible to ignore the flurry of annoying bitches buzzing in your face when you're a new mum and you're horribly sleep deprived.
That said, my new obstetrician is concerned by Jude's seemingly small birth weight and wants to keep a careful eye on Lilac.
"Here is my son," I argue. "Look, he is perfect and is not so small now."
"Here is me and here is my husband," I protest. "We are small. I, and all my sisters, were only 2.8kgs at birth. We will not produce big children."
I would, quite honestly, be utterly aghast and horrified to give birth to a 90th percentile baby given the measurements of my family and our birth-size histories. If Lilac came out huge I would be terrified of infant diabetes or obesity. It would NOT be a good thing, no matter what any midwife tried to tell me.
I don't want to be concerned about birth size. I am expecting a small baby and I've tried to express this to my new doctor, but his concern is legitimate because I did have pre-eclampsia and that is a condition of the placenta breaking down early and failing to provide sustenance to the developing baby, so I understand he just wants to watch out for any signs of that reoccuring but I refuse, REFUSE, to buy into any of that birth weight crap ever again.
I will not have anyone make me feel bad about the size of my children. They are perfect and they will thrive and we will all be a lot better off without the interference of people who think every woman should give birth to a giant.
Sunday 20 March 2011
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3 comments:
I think babies weight in general is judged continuously. I didn't have a problem with Maya's birth weight because she was 4kgs, but from there she only had very small weight gains each week and moved from the 90th percentile to below the 3rd. I was lucky that I had a supportive health nurse, but other people constantly made comments to me about Maya's weight and so I finally saw a paediatrician when she was 1 year old. The doctor was extremely concerned but tests showed that Maya was a perfectly healthy girl, just petite.
It seems like the heavier a baby is the healthier they are considered and vice versa. And it seems like mothers who have bigger babies who put on lots of weight are prouder than those who have smaller babies who don't put on much weight.
Maya's story of being born large and then not gaining a lot of weight is one I have encountered a few times. It doesn't appear to be uncommon.
My issue is that all the alarm bells being rung in our ears are unhelpful, actually damaging. Surely the important thing is that the child is happy and healthy.
I think a sick child whose development was problematic would be more apparent than just a little weight loss.
I know a lot of mother's who worry about their baby's weight because it is so focussed on. A friend of mine whose baby is small and has always been small was told to start giving her baby vitamins. I was told to feed Maya chocolate to fatten her up.
I do think you need to look at the whole picture and not just weight gains.
- Is the baby happy?
- Are they eating and drinking?
- Are they producing wet and solid nappies?
- Is there some growth (height, weight, etc)?
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