I have some fairly strong ideas of how I want to raise Jude. For example, I want to stay home with him until he's ready for preschool. I don't believe that childcare is necessary for a child's social development. I also don't believe that children need to be enrolled in swim school from the age of 6 months, and I don't believe infants need to be bombarded with daily activities like Jimbaroo.
I have nothing against those things. I have worked in child care and I was an AUSTSwim certified swimming instructor. I have also taught very young Japanese children English using music and dance, so I appreciate all those activities for what they are ... I just know from first hand experience that people don't need to pay money for things that can be taught at home. So I am teaching Jude to swim, I am exposing Jude to music and dance, and I am taking care of his social development by being a fully attentive stay-at-home mum and through regular mum's group (often twice a week).
My stance is firm and I know what I know, but that said I still challenge myself every single day when I am confronted with other mothers who have every day of the week booked with activities for their babies and who fork out money on every class and toy available.
I constantly need to refer back to my values and check in with myself to make sure I'm following my own path and ignoring what everyone else does, but it's difficult because I'm not deaf or blind so it's always around me, everywhere I look.
Especially these days when probably 2/3 of women hurry back to, at least, part time work and have their babies in childcare from a young age. When they start talking about Christmas pageants and all the amazing things their children are accomplishing I can't help second guessing myself, even though I know from first-hand experience that some children are naturally adapted for childcare but many children would much rather be home with mum.
I've started waffling because I am in the middle of cooking dinner, so my attention is on the beeping microwave rather than what I'm writing, but I think I made a point somewhere in there.
Thursday 3 December 2009
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2 comments:
Oh no, you've made a point. A very good one, too. I think part of the problem lies in people not knowing they have other options - they think it's just the norm to leave their children in childcare etc etc. At least, that's how I've seen it happen around me. I often find myself challenged when it comes to keeping my parenting goals in sight. I'm with you on the staying at home with the kids until they're ready for school, but not many would be! I sometimes wonder if I'm depriving Ewan of anything important by not taking him to swimming lessons, kinder gym/music etc etc like everyone else seems to do all the time. But some part of me knows deep down inside, that he can learn all the important things he needs at this age from me. Every time I start wondering and doubting, I check with my husband, and he reassures me that we're doing the right thing by raising him the way we do!
So after all that rambling - I hope I've made some sense!
I used to think people thought childcare was the norm, I still do... but then why do people ask me all the time "are you going back to work?" Why is that the standard question to ask, and is it just my overly sensitive perception that sees a hint of surprise when I answer that I have no intention of returning to work, maybe in the future when Jude and our second child are in school.
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